My Quest to Healthier Me: Navigating Food and Emotional Ties
I’m in the midst of a 90-day journey to revamp my relationship with food. This quest isn't just about shedding unhealthy habits; it's a deep dive into education, nutrition, and the psychological ties we have with what we eat. I want to share what I've learned and some intimate stories that have surfaced along the way. I believe my journey can resonate with you and perhaps even guide you on your path to wellness.*
The Reset
Thousands of years ago, we were hunters and gatherers. We wouldn't eat fruit all year round. We weren't able to grow crops, and when raspberries came in season, you just picked them off the branch and ate a bunch. And when they were out of season, after a month or two, whatever it was, you were done - no more berries. We ate something else that came into season or we hunted. Today we have access to many foods all year round, but that’s not only it…
In the United States, the portion sizes alone are just ridiculous. And then, we have these thoughts, feelings, and beliefs, like we need to eat all of the food on our plate, because otherwise it's wasteful, and people are starving. This can result in overeating and an unhealthy diet.
So what the reset is, is about giving your gut a break but it’s also getting into the mental game of it.
The Story I Was Telling Myself
Generally speaking, I consider myself an aware person. I consider myself to be healthy, I have eliminated a lot of toxins and other things from my diet over the last decade or so. Before that, I used to eat anything I wanted to eat. And as a result of that, I was grumpy and emotional. And sometimes I was foggy or would get really bad headaches. I just didn't realize how much the fuel that we put in our bodies impacts us. And not only that but the lack of good fuel. Good nutritious foods that our bodies need like lots of greens and lots of variety.
However, to that day while my diet has improved and I took a break from a lot of foods, I don't always listen to what my body likes or needs, and what it doesn't.
How My Emotional Triggers Were Driving My Diet
Before starting this quest I never asked what was behind a craving. Popcorn was one of my weak spots. I can’t just eat a little bit of popcorn. When it’s in front of me I will devour it. What’s curious is, popcorn has a deeper significance for me…
When I was a kid my dad used to make popcorn for my siblings and me. I never forget the smell of fresh popcorn in our home and all of us gathered in the living room, watching a movie, eating popcorn.
The message from the universe: Love comes in many forms, and for me this was love. And today popcorn makes me feel close to my dad who passed away some years ago.
So the question I needed to ask myself when craving popcorn:
Do I really want popcorn or is it something else?
Now, when I crave it I know there are other ways that make me feel close to my dad. I write him a letter, I look at old pictures or listen to his favorite songs.
I make a conscious choice about how I want to deal with a craving and bring awareness to what lies underneath it. What do my body, mind, and spirit really need?
"Your body is your vehicle, but it's your mind and emotions that often take the wheel on your journey."
Eating From a Place of Choice
Being on this quest has been challenging because I took a break from foods that I love - like gluten-free pizza. There is a pizza place in my town and their gluten-free pizza is truly amazing. I just can’t stop eating it. My false narrative?
“Darla, you can eat as much pizza as you want! This is gluten-free, you've removed so many other things from your diet, and you're already so healthy. So just go ahead and eat as much as you want!”
The question that this quest has triggered is, when does it cross the line? When is it just eating vs eating from a place of choice?
So now, I'm bringing conscious awareness to what I’m eating and uncovering some of the false beliefs I hold on to.
What Does My Future Self Want?
Now, I don't know what's going to happen at the end of this quest. But I have caught myself thinking, I can't wait to eat french fries at the end of the quest. I caught myself daydreaming about it the other day. The truth is that's still my food saboteur talking.
At the end of this quest, the goal is to be conscious, and to ask, do I want those French fries or is it just a craving? Is that my food saboteur? Or is my highest self, my future self wanting these French fries?
And so, what it comes down to is being aware of the why, but also when I make the conscious choice to eat them being more aware, being conscious. Taste them, chew them, and be present with them.
The Takeaway
This whole quest so far has been life-changing for me. Because how I relate to food is how I relate to other things in my life.
There are only two things in this world. Fear and love, scarcity, abundance. You can put every other word underneath those words. You can put every other feeling underneath those feelings.
A couple of months into this quest, I feel healthier, at peace and calm and I have more mental clarity.
And the big realization: This is me being unconditionally loving to my body. Eating a whole bag of popcorn is not.
*Disclaimer: The content provided in this blog post is based solely on personal experiences and reflections. It is not intended to serve as medical or dietary advice. Every individual's journey toward wellness is unique, and what works for one person may not necessarily work for another. Before making any significant changes to your diet or lifestyle, it is recommended to consult with a qualified healthcare professional or registered dietitian. Remember to listen to your body and prioritize your overall health and well-being above all else.
